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bonnielawrence
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Name: Bonnie
Metro:
Gender: Female
Interests: reading; traveling; drinking lots of strong, black coffee; being an interpreter; writing; organizing things;studying Arabic and Arabic sign language......
Occupation: Education/training
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  boddiebayou
Member Since:
4/8/2006
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| Well, as I talked about in the last entry, it's been a rather difficult few weeks. At the end of this past week, I met my turning point. I'm so thankful! I humbly realized that I was not acting like I believed in God's goodness or His worthiness. I have, in the past, stood on the belief that God is good in the good times and He's good in the hard times.... this time I needed some reminding! (sorry, Lord)
While I'm sharing openly, I might as well go ahead and confess that I was acting like I thought God owed it to me to make this next part of my story easier than the last two years have been. You know what I mean?? Sort of as though... I gave up a lot and went through a lot to serve You, Lord.... so the least you can do is answer this prayer the way I ask or give me this blessing or that relationship or provide this perfect job.
Now, please understand I didn't move overseas to work SO THAT God would bless me. Not at all. However, now that I am at the end of my two year commitment, the thought has passed through my mind.... that I didn't feel like I was asking too much and was annoyed that I would be forced to endure more hardship when all I really needed was a rest, a break....I needed to be ministered to and encouraged.
My desire is have a more servant-like heart.... not a self seeking heart. I'm so glad that the Holy Spirit held a mirror to my face to show me what was in my heart! My aim is to seek His face not His hands. (By the way, it's times like these that I LOVE to read through these words: Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for while Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. Phil 3:12-14 Yeah for God's grace!!!)
So I'm choosing to accept whatever comes (or doesn't) with joy. I know that God's goodness and His faithfulness are not connected to or dependent on what I feel about my life's circumstances in any particular moment or how well I think He's providing for me! (and praise Him for that, right!?)
I was thinking today.... about all of the things I am excited about, about being back here in the USA (besides the obvious ones like being near family and friends, driving a car, air conditioning, etc). I thought I'd share just a few of them!!
1. Running. Since getting back I've been running three miles. Women were not permitted to run or exercise outside in the Middle East (where I lived) and I really missed it. I have a long way to go to get back to the distance that I was before I left but for not having run at all in two years I'm just a little bit proud of myself.
AND I've decided to start training for a marathon (coming in February). There is a group of people, who I haven't met yet, I may start training with and I'm so excited!
2. I'm considering getting my master's degree at UAB. I have been thinking about this for a long time (getting a degree in counseling) and while I'm still not sure if this is the direction I should be going in I am going to at least start walking in it and see what happens. I haven't let myself seriously consider getting a master's degree because I haven't ever thought I was smart enough to pass the GRE. I'm not book-smart. But I like a good challenge and I like chasing my dreams. So we'll see.
3. OK.... now this next one is a good one. I am announcing this one publicly because I hope you all out there in xanga world will hold me accountable (??). I played the piano from aged 7 until I was about 20. In college I took lessons from a man who had NO patience for me. I was not a music major and didn't practice for hours upon hours each day which really annoyed him. I'm not sure how I got to be one of his students. That was the last time I truly worked at playing and I miss it so, so much. I still have stacks of my old music. I was really good. (can I say that?) It is one of my life-dreams to be good again. So I need to procure a piano and find someone to guide me back to the path that I left.
4. I'm slightly embarrassed to admit this next one, but I am hoping to get back in the dating world. I took a leave of absence from dating for about three years for several reason- one of which is that I have been surrounded by predominantly Muslim men who view me as the woman who may cook for them, clean, bear children, and that's about it. There are a lot of rules for dating and general friendship with men that I am finding I need to relearn. I already feel extremely awkward so let's just hope I don't scare off all the prospects! ha!
OK... that'll do for now. Thanks for reading!
Have a great week... I know I'm going to!
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| Hello friends,
Well, I am back on US soil. After two years, ten countries, hundreds of plane rides... having drunk tea and coffee in grass huts, in metal shacks, under trees, and in gilded homes. I was given one of the most splendid gifts- getting the chance to walk a mile or two in many, many peoples' shoes ( I should say- 'in their footsteps' since many of the people who I am referring to didn't wear shoes. Just thought I'd add that in) and tell countless hearing-impaired individuals and their families over and over again that, yes, I came all this way just to meet them.
In the two years that I was gone I faced some of the loneliest, darkest, and most confusing days and also some of the most fun adventures, had some of the hardest laughs, and learned the most significant life lessons! I have come back a changed woman, for sure. I just hope I'm becoming the woman I'm supposed to be and that I didn't miss anything He had planned for me.
And the past three weeks that I have been back in Alabama have been overwhelming to say the least. I feel like I am really on a roller coaster. The prayer I have been breathing over and over again is- Lord put your steadying hand on me and don't let me be tossed and beaten by the waves!! Everyone tells me it's all going to be OK. In my head I do believe it..... in my heart I have my doubts! 
I confess that I am so worried about getting a job. I've been making phone calls and sending e-mailes with no positive leads. I'm so frustrated. Again, my head tells me that the Lord cares for me and has always provided for my every need. I am grasping to that promise even when fears grasps me! Honestly, (and I know I can be a drama queen at times, I know that....) I feel like life is choking me a little bit. Can I get a witness?! As awkward as this chapter of my story is, I know that it's important AND that I have a wise and sensitive guide. I'm just trying to ride the waves and keep my chin up.
I really want to post some pictures of the past few weeks but that will have to wait for tomorrow or the next day.
Have a wonderful week...
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| Hi everyone...
I don't have too much time to write today. I am in the process of packing up and will be flying back to Birmingham this coming week. It's been a while since I've posted anything so I thought I'd just add a couple of pictures. The past week, especially, has been full of "lasts", enjoying the last few days I have with friends. To be honest I am having a really hard time processing how I'm feeling about leaving and moving back to Alabama. I am on such an emotional roller coaster! I'm working on being in the moment and absorb everything and I am hopeful that in the coming days and weeks I'll be able to find words to express how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. As for now... I have to go pack up my kitchen and do some laundry! If you think of me, please pray for me. Life change, as exciting as it may be, is HARD!
A couple of my friends and I at a Friday market-
These are the people that I work with when I am here in Amman (not traveling). They are Arab and Brazilian and Dutch (the Dutch one is not in the picture).
Grace, in the blue stripes, cooked an amazing meal for us of all my favorite Arabic food, including stuffed
grape leaves, stuffed squash, smoked beef, and a bunch of other treats (including a "nescafe" coffee cake for dessert). Grace really treated me to a wonderful fare-well dinner and we had a great time together.
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| In February I had the opportunity to travel to Morocco and Tunisia for my work. I was only in each country for one very hurried week each. Both places have been on my list of "places I want to visit in my lifetime". I was a little disappointed that I did not get to see more of the country (especially Morocco since that trip was especially busy) but that just means that I'll have to keep it on my list and save my pennies to go back. One of the fun parts of my job is being able to go to new places. I love to travel and I love new adventures and that is one way my job has been perfect for me.
I don't have any crazy stories from Morocco like I do for the other places I've gone. Like I said it was a fast trip (5 cities, 8 trains in 6 days. ouch) so there wasn't much going on......actually I take that back. I DID have minor trouble on the train.... I got mixed up, twice, about which train station to get off at... being in a country I've never been to, traveling alone, and all. It wasn't that big of a deal, I just had to wait a few hours for the next train goin' my way. The funny part of the story is that I got off at the same (wrong) little train station both times- once coming and once returning. The same little old man at the station helped me. I'm sure he rolled his eyes at the funny foreign woman. I sat in a dingy little coffee shop sipping cup after cup of cafe au lait for a few hours trying to ignore the stares, as I was 'forced' to sit in a coffee shop which only men tend to patron. Well, anyway, being stuck at the wrong train station those two times gave me time to write postcards and journal not to mention the cups of cafe au lait, which were surprisingly very good, so I was a happy camper.
These three pictures are all random things of interest from Meknes:
A mosque on a hill-
A cookie shop in the open market-
Doorway of an old mosque-
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